When the auto crapper fails to engage

For my first Blog I dug up an old one I wrote awhile back. Should kind of set the tone for the things that run through my brain:

6 MAR 2008:

I am out of there. Cut and run is what I say. It's not my fault that the auto-flushing poopin' stool has failed.

Seriously!

I am neither a doctor nor a plumber. I do not feel the need to trouble shoot this flawed piece of technology. In fact the establishment that has chose to invest in this Russian Roulette style flushing device should be held liable for the mental anguish the person that follows me will have after a miss-fire of the auto-deuce can. I leave brutal turds folks. They usually require courtesy flushes, which are very challenging while perched on these commodes. There are only two options for a courtesy flush while engaged in the act on the auto-flush head.

1. Lean far enough forward to trigger a flush. This move is not always effective, especially if you have encountered a malfunctioning auto turd bucket. If this maneuver works really all there is to look forward to an enema from the increased PSI in most public caca cans.

2. A quick stand. This will get you more flushes, but if your balloon knot harbors any clinger swingers you risk the possibility of it become dislodged. Now there is a free flying Class IV clinger swinger which could land anywhere….you my friend do the math!

And now you say, "But Don there is usually a manual flush button on these infra-red disasters.". I say shut up and stop talking to your computer!

This is supposed to be "hands free" technology. Not my job to hit the manual override.

Movie Quote Trivia:

"I thought it was to high to leave the park"…."who gives a shit it's gone"

Easy one. The prize for the first correct answer will be tape to place over the eye of any auto- flusher you may sit on. If we sabotage enough of these things maybe we can eliminate them.

Here's to good old fashioned pull flush poop dishes!